Personal Development Blog

You gotta be real with yourself. You are where you are and maybe where you are is less than ideal. You could feel alone, struggling, confused, stuck. You’re always trying to fix yourself, develop, be better - but what you keep finding is just more and more problems to solve.

 

You’re kinda sick and tired of it. You just want to be done with it all. You want to love and accept yourself. You want to feel peace and just want to feel good!

 

Your destination is self acceptance. 

 

Yeah, maybe it poses as: more time, more friends, better relationships, whatever. But really - it’s the feeling state of it all that you’re looking for.

 

The signature of self love and self acceptance. Why? Because when you’re radiating self love, everything is just that much easier. You’re open to people and opportunities, you allow life to surprise and delight you. You’re not living in fear; but awe, openness and curiosity. You receive support, love, abundance. You finally have fun!!

 

Buttttt, you can’t get there from a place of self rejection! 

 

You get to self acceptance from self acceptance and the graft on the relationship you hold with YOURSELF. 

 

In other words, accepting yourself where you are NOW. Not reserving your acceptance for when you are this imaginary perfected version who has earned/is worthy/deserves it.

 

There, that’s it.

 

What’s not easy is actually putting it to practice. Otherwise everyone would be walking around happy, fulfilled, loving.

 

It’s not easy because of the myriad of confusing thoughts and limiting beliefs that keep getting in the way and keep getting us stuck.

 

Everything changed for me when I started accepting myself.

 

It’s when you can REALLY accept these two truths - you are free. Free to love, free to be.

 

Healing takes time? No. Incorrect. Sometimes yes, but what’s needed more than time is DECISION.

 

A decision to drop the issue, to forgive, to let go, to disengage and let it be, let the thing run itself out, the wound heal itself without constant interference.

 

Just as the body heals cuts and wounds naturally and instinctively because it KNOWS how to; with minimal, but potent and effective involvement from you.

 

If you’ve been ‘trying’ to heal a pattern or an issue for years, the *trying* is exactly the thing that perpetuates it and prevents healing. What you focus on grows, so if you focus on the problem, you’ll have more of it to focus on and work on.

 

Just like constantly messing with a wound, not allowing it to heal. You just create a bigger mess. 

 

Usually people swing from one extreme to the other whenever it comes to the big, touchy, ouchy issues: complete aversion or complete immersion - You’ll either avoid, distract, ignore it - and feel somewhat better for it BUT in the back of your head you know you haven’t dealt with it and it’s only a matter of time until you’re ambushed by it. (Ignoring it doesn’t magically make it go away no matter how much spiritual woo woo content you’ve consumed that says otherwise.) Because you’re still controlled by it or you decide to go all-all gung ho on it, to work on it, to process, heal, analyse, fix, control, eradicate, work at it non-stop AND never get anywhere, even after a million aha moments and breakthroughs. Because you’re still trying to control it.

 

Which causes you to get overwhelmed, burnt out and you give up, withdraw and avoid again..

 

Which then causes you to feel fed up that nothing’s changed and emboldens you to ‘work’ at it again.

 

This cycle can go on for years with no resolution.

 

Because resolution is in neither of these.

 

Whether you fear and avoid the issue, or passionately

'work' at it - you're still focusing on the issue. What you focus on, grows, remember. You're validating it, making it real, creating it over and over again.

 

The solution is actually letting go of (your attachment to) the entire pattern, the whole enchilada. So you then can act freely, intuitively and in alignment in relationship to whatever is the issue.